/r/dadjokes - top ten submissions for each month of 2023
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2023, December
2235 What’s the worst thing to hear your surgeon say...
1756 I asked a German girl for her number and I'm st...
1727 My wife calls me a sex machine.
1635 This is why I love my wife
1613 Wife didn't appreciate my Dad joke, but I thoug...
1172 My wife is pregnant. I asked her whether she wa...
1175 I have sex almost every day
1132 I wish my husband would treat me like his penis.
1042 I once met a girl with 12 nipples.
1027 In the US, it’s called an elevator. In the UK, ...
2023, November
2056 What do you call a sexuality where you’re att...
1581 My 7yo today: Dad can I have some leftover turk...
1524 I have tattoos on my shoulder and when people a...
1341 Womb is pronounced as "woom" and tomb as "toom".
1343 I'm going to open a food truck that sells chick...
1171 Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion cla...
1121 A shark can swim faster than a human, but a hum...
1093 I got dad joked at the supermarket
1080 A carnival worker hit us with a dad joke. I lau...
1076 What begins with E and ends in E but only has o...
2023, October
1607 My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathe...
1492 A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is dri...
1448 So I just did possibly the dumbest thing I've p...
1442 An elderly retired couple went to a doctor. The...
1376 My girlfriend changed after she became a vegeta...
1262 My wife said, “You really have no sense of di...
1262 I told her my name is Heath. She said her name ...
1199 My friend quit his job at BMW.
1177 So my wife saw a baby on the way to work today..
1132 I surprised my mailman by opening the door comp...
2023, September
11893 My wife told me if this gets 1000 upvotes, I ca...
3140 I asked my grandpa, "After 65 years together, y...
2845 My daughter (17) hit me with this one
2166 A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor an...
2153 A boy named David Buttlicker is teased in school
2036 My girlfriend died in a freak elevator accident...
1931 My wife found letters I had been hiding, provin...
1892 I told my cowoker I was going skydiving labor d...
1877 My daughter burned me
1863 I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire...
2023, August
6877 My wife just gave birth today and after thankin...
4134 True Story: Took my family out to dinner. We en...
3822 A guy steals a train, kills 5 and gets sentence...
3789 I finally figured out the cheat code to pleasur...
3047 My wife said she was fed up with my addiction a...
2699 My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
2630 My wife is furious at our next door neighbor wh...
2550 My wife purchased three ears of corn today for $3
2424 When I came home from work, my wife said "Ugh, ...
2338 My wife told me to put ketchup on the grocery l...
2023, July
9360 I've been building my comment karma for the sol...
6237 My son got me with the oldest one in the book a...
5903 A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell int...
5626 It happened. One of the dad joke holy grails ha...
5183 A young man walks into a drug store to buy condoms
4899 Would Steve Jobs have made a better president t...
4882 What do you call a triangle without any angles?
4619 If R2 is short for R2-D2, Chewie is short for C...
4483 Your name spelled backwards is something you re...
4065 If A is for apple and B is for Banana, what’s...
2023, June
20645 TIL that the passengers of the missing Titanic ...
11622 How many reddit protestors does it take to chan...
10297 I hate all these Titanic jokes.
9964 Sad all the people making jokes about the missi...
7816 I told my wife, “Did you know Old McDonald’...
7403 Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought...
6475 If judging people for their race is racism, the...
6441 What’s the difference between a cop and a bul...
6185 My 12 year old daughter got me good today. Not ...
5578 When I was a teen I was addicted to masturbatio...
2023, May
13069 Yesterday my wife completed a 36-week body buil...
8459 What do you call men who make "Women belong in ...
6776 Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
6338 Julie Andrews said she bought a cheap lipstick ...
6192 Warning: Dirty Joke. Did you hear about the man...
5950 My wife asked me what "mansplaining" means
5833 Sitting in a posh restaurant, a man spots a gor...
5740 My wife wants to end our marriage because I mak...
5422 I got arrested today for walking out of an art ...
5249 daughter: "dad, why does Ariel wear seashells"
2023, April
13399 Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks ...
11989 “Have you heard of Murphy’s law?†“Yeah...
11229 Why wasn't Jesus born at a Trump rally?
8900 Why did my fence collapse?
8794 A group of dolphins is called a pod. And a grou...
8331 SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwat...
8074 What is a group of transgender women called?
7925 What's a four letter word you never want to hea...
7671 best jokes that rely on them to fail
6931 I told a joke on a Zoom Meeting and no-one laughed
2023, March
23336 My wife just completed a 40 week body building ...
12249 I just had quite possibly the best dad joke of ...
8139 I accidentally said "Shirley" today instead of ...
7762 A colon can completely change the meaning of a ...
7610 My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Ar...
7486 Me: "Why was Cinderella so bad at soc-" Daughte...
7259 My wife called me a sex machine.
7234 Do you realize that if you are sitting on the t...
6763 Me: "Honey, what's today's date?" Wife: "March ...
6552 If the prefix "pro" means for and "con" means a...
2023, February
18199 My 16yo son was on a long video chat with his g...
12340 My Son's Teacher reads a joke from /r/dadjokes ...
10266 How do cops like their coffee?
9465 “The Last of Us†is a terrible title. It sh...
6784 What does the sign on a out-of-business brothel...
6609 Scientists recently managed to weigh a rainbow
6225 It’s Valentine’s Day today. 3 years ago tod...
6075 A little boy ran up to me, and said "please hel...
5755 If you put a bunch of kids with adhd in a camp ...
5724 I asked a girl for a date and she said I had a ...
2023, January
12207 In other news, Bill Nye’s daughter, Dee, came...
11160 Whats the difference between an american and a ...
10602 I started a support group for people with Erect...
9058 Sylvester Stallone says he wants to make a movi...
8468 I remember when I dropped off my son on his fir...
8175 My 6 year old couldn't sleep. So I told her tha...
8043 I asked my boss for a raise because 3 companies...
7076 My great grandmother lay dying in the hospital ...
6866 when my son was being mean to my daughter I cal...
6453 When you’re with Spanish-speaking friends, re...
