/r/dadjokes - top ten submissions for each month of 2025
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dadjokes 2024
2025, August
5917 Asked my son what he learned in school today. H...
3497 I told my wife: "Your underwear is way too tight."
2704 What do you call boobs that got a degree in sci...
2368 My doctor told me getting a vasectomy would cha...
2308 My neighbor knocked on my door at 2am this morn...
2272 Knock Knock. Who’s there? Britney Spears. Knock...
2239 Did you know the first French fries weren't coo...
2126 [NSFW] What do you call children that were born...
1862 On my 45th birthday, my wife whispered, “Are yo...
1760 I was flirting with a woman at a party and aske...
2025, July
9848 Dad jokes are not pornographic
5908 Coldplay hasn't released a new song in years.
5138 I'm at the sperm bank and the nurse just asked ...
5020 You know when strippers get cash that has jizz ...
4111 My girlfriend's kink was dressing up as a banan...
3687 What’s the German word for “bra”?
3557 I came home last night to find my wife having s...
3196 I bumped into my ex today.
2923 Bartender says: "We don't serve time travelers ...
1466 My therapist says that I second guess every dec...
2025, June
4849 My Granpa knew the Titanic was going to sink th...
4398 I asked my wife if sex is a chore to her
3502 My wife told me "You're terrible in bed"
3452 My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick...
3297 My wife and I were cuddling last night when she...
2810 I was cuddling with my wife when she said, "Tre...
1555 I got a vasectomy so I wouldn’t have kids
1522 The toothbrush was invented in West Virginia.
1449 A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow :
1351 Just got fired from my job at the ice cream fac...
2025, May
4009 My daughter was upset that it was raining and s...
3898 A woman had a 100 children.
3391 My 16 year old son wanted to know what it was l...
3125 I was making out with my girlfriend on the couc...
3019 My wife was sick in bed so I took the sheets of...
2349 I was in the bar last night when the waitress y...
2329 Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
2158 Why do sperm cells like commas and apostrophes?
2038 The longest drum solo in history was 6 hrs 28 min
1979 I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my ...
2025, April
8120 A woman I slept with told me I had the biggest ...
6341 Dad jokes should not be Sexual
5639 I once met a girl with 12 nipples
5275 My wife filed for divorce today, said I am too ...
3396 If a Blackbird has black babies, a Bluebird has...
2698 If you lose your Khakis in Texas, it means you ...
2590 My wife read a draft of a mystery novel I’m wor...
2144 My wife called my last night and said "If you'r...
1969 What do porn stars and truckers have in common?
1834 I only believe in 12.5% of the bible.
2025, March
13041 I just had sex with a blind woman. She said I'v...
7405 The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd lik...
6046 My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and t...
3220 Wife: *trying to open a can of tuna* "Our can o...
3078 I started kissing my wife while my parents were...
3032 Just a warning if you're buying a watch on Amaz...
2861 I watched two mimes having s*x the other day....
2547 What’s the difference between a casual party an...
2518 When my wife was in labor, I told her jokes, to...
2420 My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the ...
2025, February
16715 Trump and Musk are on a plane.
8691 So Elon Musk is getting offended that people ar...
5987 Donald Trump has signed an order banning the sa...
4111 I opened a nightclub for men with erectile disf...
4091 My wife told me I'm the only one she's ever sle...
3815 Barack Obama walked into a bar, but he was invi...
3334 If someone gave you $1000 because "you are ugly...
3029 I get diabolically horny when I see large and p...
2710 I wanted to marry my English teacher when she g...
2699 A Texan went to an Ivy League party on the East...
2025, January
7031 I got a vasectomy, but my girlfriend still got ...
2494 I met a girl on Tinder whose bio had the quote,...
2429 I just spent $300 to hire a limousine and disco...
2338 I just found my husband has a Tinder profile an...
1842 I have sex daily!
1832 When my great-grandfather went bald, he built a...
1823 My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a sin...
1761 Tesla anounced a new car:
1739 I'm trying to remember what the French word for...
1735 There are more hydrogen atoms in a single molec...
